You know a social phenomenon is old when it gets covered by a major print publication. Teen Vogue recently released the article, "Is a GBF (Gay Best Friend) the New Must-Have Accessory for Teen Girls?," which equates gay male boyfriends (or husbands as Ferocia and I call it) to handbags, heels and rings.
The association of a human with a product, accessory to be exact, isn't all that bothers me. It's the idea that this is something new.
I've had a gay best friend since my male cousin preferred to jump rope and do my hair instead of playing basketball.
A diva, better yet a Glamazon, and a gay man are a match made in disco heaven.
My current gay boyfriend---mover and shaker and fashion reporter, Daver Campbell---is the love of my life. There he is below.
I spend many nights out partying in NewYork City with him or making dinner, drinking wine and talking nonsense in my Brooklyn apartment. If he were straight, we would be married.
He is a wonderful friend and a great addition to my life just for being who he is. My good friend, Beautylicious, feels the same way about her gay husband, Josh Swann, who she's been close with for years (he's a manager at MAC Cosmetics and essentially, the younger Sam Fine).
And Ferocia's gay boyfriend, David Lopez, hooks up her weaves so you know they're living happily ever after.
They have each enhanced our lives in SO many ways, but here are the top four:
-GAYDAR
Every diva is faced with the challenge of warding off undercover gay men who pretend to be straight but in actuality, are "brothers on the DOWN LOW" (Oprah voice.)
I regularly call on my gay husband to "surprise" visit while I'm hanging out with my boo of the moment in an effort to determine what team he truly plays for.
One night, a potential suitor admitted to my gay BF that he "hasn't hooked up with a man yet because he doesn't have the guts." See why a gay BF is necessary?
-SHARED LOVE OF FASHION/BEAUTY
Let's ditch the stereotypes: not all gay men are into Fashion and Beauty! But if yours is, there's no better friend to bounce your new clothing or makeup choices off of.
Why? Because he knows as much about fashion and beauty as a woman does (if not more) but still includes the male perspective. (Trust me on this, gay men may not want "trout" but they still appreciate a woman's body (breasts, hips, butt and legs) and will tell you when you're looking HOT.)
-RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
I always get relationship advice from my gay BF because at the end of the day, he IS a man...which means he still approaches relationships in that direct, no-nonsense way that all men do.
When it comes to dating, my gay bf gives me a fresh perspective and priceless advice that my women friends can't provide. And I love him for it.
-BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
Did you ever dream of a man who will fix things in your apartment and go shoe-shopping with you, without complaining, later that evening? I have that and more in my gay boyfriend.
We can go from watching sports to critiquing fashion to blasting Lil Kim seamlessly. He does all the things my man won't do, and some of the things my man does (like kill bugs, lol). It's the perfect relationship, without the sex of course.
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Teen Vogue Editor, Amy Astley, feels that a reason to pick up a gay BF is because they aren't competitive and judgmental like most women via The Cut Blog:
Friendships with other girls — even the healthiest and most supportive of relationships — are always a teeny bit complicated. I hate to admit it, but I feel like a tiny troll next to one of my besties, who is as tall and stunning as a supermodel; another good pal is so outrageously successful that one can't help but seem a bit of an underachiever in comparison. And that's the problem: We girls compare ourselves to one another, and it can just get a bit ... intense. Thank goodness for gay best friends. I treasure my GBFs — I live in New York City; I have many, many! — because they are noncompetitive and nonjudgmental, and we make each other feel accepted and cherished.
Umm, some gay/straight men are competitive and some women aren't. And you can feel just as insecure around a fab model-looking girl as you can around a ridiculously handsome guy (like our gay boyfriends above, haha). I think insecurity has more to do with a person's self-esteem than whether she chills with gay men or straight women. But maybe that's just me.
Anyway: yes, Teen Vogue, gay best friends are amaazing but not close to an accessory, only there to make you feel more secure. Gay men aren't products you select off of a shelf---they're people...though I DO love them like my Louboutins (and that's a lot of love).
Kisses,
Coutura
